The problem with LJ: we all think we are so close, but really, we know nothing about each other. So I want you to ask me something you think you should know about me. Something that should be obvious, but you have no idea about. Ask away.

Then post this in your LJ and find out what people don't know about you.

This might be a little difficult, seeing as I don't give people much to go on, here. Stranger, how are you? I feel like a contortionist when I post here, a desperate desire for social recognition constituting majority rule over a million screaming voices. It sucks hard, and usually makes me malfunction. So does reading lj feed. Hey! So I haven't been doing it, lately. Today I'm dripping and spraying globules with nasty little surprises, so here we are.

IAC. If anyone out there would like me to speak more plainly than usual for once, ask.

appears 80gb trashed. external hd making loud rhythmic clicks, not responding to reason. ah well. i don't need all that stuff. i would've liked to save a few of the journal/word documents and some things i wrote in altered states that i haven't opened since...bunches of image files i've already worked to death or tired of, spoken word and movies, apps. psychic detritus. it wasn't always that way but it has been for a bit now. take it away. take it away, damn you, i've more important distractions to attend to. if any way i'll reach those by elimination. "looks like it's just me and you, blank sheet of paper." then sucked off desk out open window into whorlwinds. "gee maybe i should follow it." (not literally)

Either there was some weird shit going on last night, or I had my first flashback. Or an off-the-scale anxiety attack. Or it just happened, whatever it. Or something else. These are all inclusive ors btw. Sat for a half hour to ride it out, but physiological effects didn't stop. Laid down and sweat in bed until I drifted off (no idea how long it took). Totally fucked-up my homework plans. Been training against being inconvenienced by the often unpredictable stumblings and flailings of this machine (i.e. being more inconvenienced than necessary), which by definition doesn't change the fact that I have this 7 page paper due tommorow morning on stuff I haven't quite read. Well I guess it doesn't by definition preclude the possibility that I've become adept enough at minimizing recovery time to get whatever I wanted to do done just as if it were all synched up nicely to begin with. That's not the case. It's alright, though. I ripped through my math homework (which yesterday I didn't think I understood at all) this morning before my first class, even though I slept through my alarm and woke up an hour late. And on the muni today I got some kickin ideas for the paper - which is interesting, on liminality and initiations, even if the source texts are dull and dated. Hey, the Sambia highlanders in New Guinea practice ritualized homosexuality as part of complicated rites to enforce soxio-sexual neuroses in the males and bond them to a militaristic, male-dominated, and brutally competitive social system. I'm glad we're so civilized and only have silly problems like presidential politics. Then there's a paper by another guy which should show me how I can classify the elements of the initiation as described in the Sambia book in accordance with his general model of initiations. I'll deconstruct the general model and then whatever I add in the process will combine with Sambia comments and blamo, 7 pages. DO IT.

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